The Worst Roller Coaster Ride of My Life

I feel as if I've been on the worst roller coaster ride of my life.  Since my children were born I've been working part-time.  I returned to school in 2007 and everything seemed copacetic.  However, I had an emotional crash two summers ago and took a break from school.  I began working out, eating right.  I wanted to get healthy both physically and mentally because it suddenly didn't make sense to continue with school if I was unhealthy in both areas.  I believed, some how, I couldn't do it all at once.  When I was in school, I focused on school and my health was put on the back burner.  

My entire life has been that way.  I found ways to escape and forgot about me.  

After I began my new healthy life style, I thought I could take a full-time position at work (taking care of other people five days a week) and continue my new lifestyle. I took the plunge in July of 2012 and two weeks later my brother gave up on life and committed suicide.  I heard he was feeling drained both physically and mentally so my new life change seemed ironic.  However, working full-time with the emotional pain of losing my older brother has been the greatest challenge of my life.  Two months ago I went to the hospital ready to commit myself for depression.  I had a decision to make, call work and tell them I won't be in for a week or begin therapy sessions once a week.  That evening I had an appointment with a local University to discuss a Bachelor degree program.  Since then, my depression eased and my therapist thought full time school and work was too much for me.  I decided to return to part-time and go to school full-time.  I feel as if the roller coaster stopped and I've stepped onto safe ground.  I worked out yesterday and today. I'm making better food choices and I quit smoking.  The program I'm taking for my BA is in Family Life Education.  The program, so far, is focused on healing ourselves.  I believe I'm right where I need to be now and I just had to share it with you.  With this in mind, I am going to come back here weekly (once again) and report my progress.  Thank you for sharing my journey.