There is an eating disorder called Orthorexia nervosa, a term used by Steven Bratman to characterize an obsession with a "pure" diet, where it interferes with a person's life.
When I attended Overeaters Anonymous I believed I had no control over certain foods. We read from the Alcoholics Anonymous big book and replaced alcohol with food. When we read the stories of the alcoholic's inability to refrain from alcohol, we understood when it came to food. At my first meeting, I asked what I needed to do. The group suggested a 3-0-1 plan to begin with, meaning, three meals a day with nothing in between, one day at a time. I went home and tried it and my new found "freedom" from food helped me find excitement and hope once again. When I returned the following week, one lady suggested making a list of "bad foods" then praying to my higher power to help me refrain from them. In the mean time I ordered a book called, Diary of a Food Addict, about a woman who shared her story of going into a clinic for food addicts. While she was there the doctors stripped her from all sugar and white flour. One day I asked the group about giving up sugar and white flour and I found there were a few members who had and found success. I decided I needed to purge myself from sugar and white flour because I understood I could not control myself around them. Four months later, with a closer relationship with God and a 45 pound weight loss I was on top of the world. Until one day, I ate a "bad food". My success all went down hill from there.
When I attended Overeaters Anonymous I believed I had no control over certain foods. We read from the Alcoholics Anonymous big book and replaced alcohol with food. When we read the stories of the alcoholic's inability to refrain from alcohol, we understood when it came to food. At my first meeting, I asked what I needed to do. The group suggested a 3-0-1 plan to begin with, meaning, three meals a day with nothing in between, one day at a time. I went home and tried it and my new found "freedom" from food helped me find excitement and hope once again. When I returned the following week, one lady suggested making a list of "bad foods" then praying to my higher power to help me refrain from them. In the mean time I ordered a book called, Diary of a Food Addict, about a woman who shared her story of going into a clinic for food addicts. While she was there the doctors stripped her from all sugar and white flour. One day I asked the group about giving up sugar and white flour and I found there were a few members who had and found success. I decided I needed to purge myself from sugar and white flour because I understood I could not control myself around them. Four months later, with a closer relationship with God and a 45 pound weight loss I was on top of the world. Until one day, I ate a "bad food". My success all went down hill from there.
I had came up with a grand idea. Since eating sugar was an addiction, all I needed to do was get rid of it immediately so my body wouldn't crave it. I began to purge myself whenever it happened, knowing all along I was cheating. One day I broke down and told my sponsor what I was doing and she said, "The disease will only get worse the more you hide from it." I was screwed and my only hope was God. My relationship with God became my focal point and every now and then my Pastor would talk of addictions being a modern day idol, so by comforting myself with food, I was choosing food over God. My shame grew each day I chose food over God. It had become a monster in my mind and I eventually stopped going to Church and began hiding from the shame I felt - and God.
Just prior to my departure from the group I met with a lady who had become a social worker to help women with food disorders. She encouraged me to exercise and said there were no bad foods and to eat healthy most of the time but to forgive myself when I didn't. At the time her words gave me permission to leave the group but the ideas I learned from the group were deep in my subconscious. I felt disabled when it came to changing my eating habits because deep inside I still felt I was an addict and food was my enemy.
Since I have seen a Dietitian I learned the social worker I talked to six years ago was correct. For a member of the group Overeaters Anonymous, their number one goal is *abstinence. I believe abstinence can be misconstrued because for people with eating disorders, the need to control food is tempting and a healthy relationship with food seizes to develop. I have recently went to an OA forum and someone mentioned not having "perfect abstinence" and all I read was the shame she felt.
There is an eating disorder called Orthorexia nervosa, a term used by Steven Bratman to characterize an obsession with a "pure" diet, where it interferes with a person's life. Putting the focus on too much food or the perfect diet does not relieve the mind of the obsession of food. Exercising and eating healthy 80% of the time is the goal set up by my Dietitian and what a relief, knowing I don't have to be perfect. What a relief knowing I do not have to carry around a burden of shame!
There is an eating disorder called Orthorexia nervosa, a term used by Steven Bratman to characterize an obsession with a "pure" diet, where it interferes with a person's life. Putting the focus on too much food or the perfect diet does not relieve the mind of the obsession of food. Exercising and eating healthy 80% of the time is the goal set up by my Dietitian and what a relief, knowing I don't have to be perfect. What a relief knowing I do not have to carry around a burden of shame!
On a positive note, Overeaters Anonymous is a wonderful support group, full of people who become automatic friends. Each time we met each of us had a chance to speak, uninterrupted and for me, not having that in my life, was a huge blessing. We prayed together, loved and hugged each other, we were there for each other with just a phone call away. That kind of support is often times never found by people with eating disorders.
*Abstinence: Refraining from compulsive eating and compulsive food behaviors while working towards or maintaining a healthy body weight. Spiritual, emotional and physical recovery is the result of living the OA twelve step program by working the steps.
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